Another new year

Wow.....remember when all the world was afraid of the Y2K and we were terrified that the whole world was going to come to a screeching hault because the computers would think it was 1900? Hard to believe that was 7 years ago isn't it.
Yet with a new year comes the same old thing that keeps me awake many nights.....what am I going to do with the rest of my life? I have no "career" per say. I do have an education in a field that I discovered just wasn't my cup of tea. I mean unless I want ot live in Winnipeg or Toronto I really have no oppertunities. Also I have discovered that I just wasn't really that good in all aspects and althogh I still love the theatre and I wouldl love to Stage Manage again in our local communtiy theatre....they seem to not like the fact that I actually know what I am doing and called them on everything they were doing wrong. So they haven't called me in some time. I mean come on people....one person to do the work of 4 departments?? That's just insane. I can't very well build, paint, and dress a set while trying to get all the necessary props together. Besides, I couldn't even have acess to the space to do any work and that was a real buzzkill and made me not want to do any work.....but in the words of Stephen Degenstein "I digress"

See the thing is....I don't know what I want to do. I don't really have a passion about anything.....I would love to go back to school....but I don't know what I would take. I was thinking about becoming a teacher but that is still 4 years of university and I can't afford that. Although there is this one year course offered in Thunder Bay that gives you your teaching degree in one year....you can teach up to grade 7.......and I think that would be wonderful. I think I would be a good teacher....I'd like to think that I would be able to make a difference in a child's life.....but again.....the money......I am just now starting to pay off my education lione of credit from Fanshawe 3 years ago....almost 4 now.....but that is something that I would like to look into.

Is there something wrong with me? I mean why do I not know what my passion is? Why can't I figure out what I am supposed to do with my life? I keep thinking that I am going ot need to go "find" myself cause I seem to be lost. But where do I go to do that? Europe? Mexico? BC? I just don't know. I want a great life. I want a life that I can be prroud of. I got tired of sitting behind a desk all day every day. I like what I am doing now and there is a possibility of moving up in the company but they this wierd rule about not being able to be a manager at the store in your home town....what's the deal with that? Since this is where I would like to make my home and my life, that doesn't really seem like a great oppertunity to me. Although it would be nice to be an assistant manager....I don't really want all the stress and responsiblity....I have enough of that right now and I don't want anymore. I quit Dufresne to get away from the stress.....I should have just stayed a cashier. I am still toying with idea of applying to be a department manager. For those of you who know me well I love office supplies and there just so happens to be an opening in the Stationary department....lol....but I can't take anything full time because I will have Aiden until about March or April. PLus I am getting one or two shifts a week then they call me in for shifts when I am not available to work them. I just don't know. It's a catch 22......can't do one thing because of another but I can't do that because of this....it's just making me crazy. I don't know what my passion is...I want to go back to school...I don't know what for.....I feel lost.
Anyone have any advice on how I can find my way?