SOME NEWS

Well all you peopel out there in blogger land....although I am pretty muchthe worst blogger in the world I do have something to tell everyone. I couln't make it public until all the important people were notified personally so now that feat has been accomplished I can now tell the world - I AM ENGAGED!!! Yes that's right....Mark and I are finally going to tie the knot ofically. It was a supprise to me...although I knew he had the ring and had purchased it some time ago....but he wanted to be sure and he wanted it to be special....I told him that I didn't care howhe did it..I just wanted him to do it. But he wanted it to be a good story, after all that's what everyone asks right? How did he do it? Like it's any of their business but if it's a good story I don't mind sharing. We were out at the ice shack one frigid morning and after he got the fire going, he started to get all the lined set up...you know, puting on a hook and a minnow. So I don't even remember what I was doing....most likely getting some coffee...I can't believe that I was up and out of the house so early on my day off.....Mark asked me what colour hook I wanted..pink or yellow...so of course I chose yellow....and so he fiddled away and then he turned around with my line and asked "What do you think I could catch with this?" Although I didn't even see the ring at first...I was distracted by the hook itself...it looked something like this:

So you can see why I was distracted by it...but then I saw what I was supposed to see and felt like a big idiot. Of course then I didn't say anything so he had to say "So...will ya?" and of course I said yes.....and that is the story of how he propsed....a good one for the grandkids don't ya think. The plannig has already started....I believe I have found the perfect bridesmaid dresses.......I just have to get them all up here to go and try them on......and I am not only going to be a bride I am also going to be a bridesmaid for Shauna...her and Jason are getting married this summer...mine won't be until next summer......so I have more time to plan and save.....but I am very excited about it and although mark says he's not I can tell that he is excited about it...I just want it to be simple fun and small...although the guest list is upwards of 150 people so hopefully that will get smaller. Any way keep checking back for updates and a link to our wedding website which will be up and running soon....we just need to get a few more details nailed down. Well until next time I have something to say........if they don't find you handsome they should at least find youhandy!

Another new year

Wow.....remember when all the world was afraid of the Y2K and we were terrified that the whole world was going to come to a screeching hault because the computers would think it was 1900? Hard to believe that was 7 years ago isn't it.
Yet with a new year comes the same old thing that keeps me awake many nights.....what am I going to do with the rest of my life? I have no "career" per say. I do have an education in a field that I discovered just wasn't my cup of tea. I mean unless I want ot live in Winnipeg or Toronto I really have no oppertunities. Also I have discovered that I just wasn't really that good in all aspects and althogh I still love the theatre and I wouldl love to Stage Manage again in our local communtiy theatre....they seem to not like the fact that I actually know what I am doing and called them on everything they were doing wrong. So they haven't called me in some time. I mean come on people....one person to do the work of 4 departments?? That's just insane. I can't very well build, paint, and dress a set while trying to get all the necessary props together. Besides, I couldn't even have acess to the space to do any work and that was a real buzzkill and made me not want to do any work.....but in the words of Stephen Degenstein "I digress"

See the thing is....I don't know what I want to do. I don't really have a passion about anything.....I would love to go back to school....but I don't know what I would take. I was thinking about becoming a teacher but that is still 4 years of university and I can't afford that. Although there is this one year course offered in Thunder Bay that gives you your teaching degree in one year....you can teach up to grade 7.......and I think that would be wonderful. I think I would be a good teacher....I'd like to think that I would be able to make a difference in a child's life.....but again.....the money......I am just now starting to pay off my education lione of credit from Fanshawe 3 years ago....almost 4 now.....but that is something that I would like to look into.

Is there something wrong with me? I mean why do I not know what my passion is? Why can't I figure out what I am supposed to do with my life? I keep thinking that I am going ot need to go "find" myself cause I seem to be lost. But where do I go to do that? Europe? Mexico? BC? I just don't know. I want a great life. I want a life that I can be prroud of. I got tired of sitting behind a desk all day every day. I like what I am doing now and there is a possibility of moving up in the company but they this wierd rule about not being able to be a manager at the store in your home town....what's the deal with that? Since this is where I would like to make my home and my life, that doesn't really seem like a great oppertunity to me. Although it would be nice to be an assistant manager....I don't really want all the stress and responsiblity....I have enough of that right now and I don't want anymore. I quit Dufresne to get away from the stress.....I should have just stayed a cashier. I am still toying with idea of applying to be a department manager. For those of you who know me well I love office supplies and there just so happens to be an opening in the Stationary department....lol....but I can't take anything full time because I will have Aiden until about March or April. PLus I am getting one or two shifts a week then they call me in for shifts when I am not available to work them. I just don't know. It's a catch 22......can't do one thing because of another but I can't do that because of this....it's just making me crazy. I don't know what my passion is...I want to go back to school...I don't know what for.....I feel lost.
Anyone have any advice on how I can find my way?

Twas the night before Christmas

And all through the house.....people were relaxed and not really feeling much like Christmas at all.....strange but this year it is really hard to get into the Christmas spirit.....I don't know what it is. I mean by tomorrow I am sure that all will be different but today it's the eve of x-mas and I just don't feel in the mood.....well then again I have been sick for a week and wuite frankly I am tired of the runny nose and the sore throat....I want that part to be over, but other than that I don't know what it is that makes it feel like not the season. Could it be the lack of snow or the mild temperature? As an adult the magic of the season loses a bit in the fact that so much changes. Nothing is ever the same way you remember it as a child, the magic gets lost as you get older. I remember when I was a kid and every Christmas eve we would go over to Hosfields and we would have the whole gang there and open presents and have good food to eat and just hang out and visit. We don't do that anymore, haven't for a long time. That makes me sad. Sad in a way that I sd to love doing that and now we are older and we all have other lives and are either married or don't live here. Like Colleen and Andrea live in southern Ontario now so Gramma goes there a lot for x-mas......now don't get me wrong that's totally fine with me now...but it wasn't the first time she did it. Let me tell you I was never so upset. But I did get over it...eventually. But now it seems that everyone is too busy to spend any time with family. I know I love to go to my moms for dinner and in the morning to open gifts and to have breakfast, but it seems so rushed. Thanks goodnes this year I think that we are starting a new tradition.....boxing day brunch. Mary used to do it on x-mas day but it just gets to be too much....to mmuchfood and not enough time to relax....you shouldn't hav to run here to there and all over on x-mas day. You should just have a few places to go and spread your time out. That's just my opinion. I think that we all need to slow down a bit in order to be able to enjoy Christmas......not to mention that it seems to be a little too comercial nowadays anyway. But I think what we all need to remember is that when you are buying gifts for people, try to get something that they are going to rememebr and cherish for a long tme. Something that is special to them. Somthing that they are going to cry over....that's what I try to do, get that perfect gift. Well I gues I have blabbed on for long enough. I am going to try and download some movies now......see if I can get them to burn or even play....I am hungry too.....I think I might have diner...after all it is ofter 7pm.
Good night everyone. Hope you all have a great Christmas and don't lose what the season is all about.

That Time Of Year

I decided to get rid of my Xanga account.....don't know why....just wanted a change.....so here is the first post on my blog and it just happens to be the last one on my old blog! Hope you all enjoy!

Well it' that time of the year again...the time of the year where we all say "next year will be better" or "next year I am going to .....". Well for me there are a lot of things that I would like to do in the next year....I would like to get married...I would like to buy a house of my own.....I would like to go back to school and get the job of my dreams. Not that I know what that is or anything. I want to find my place in life. I feel like I am just existing here and I don't really know what I am supposed to do. Don't get me wrong I am very happy right now....although there are a few things that would make me a bit more happy.....like for instance wiunning the lottery so that I would never have to worry about money ever again and my children would never go without and would be able to have an education without having to worry about not being able to go to college. Don't get me wrong....they will have to work for it....but just to know that the cushion would be there for them to fall back on if they happen to stumble along the way would be a nice thought. I love Christmas. It's my favourite time of the year. Everyone is so nice and giving at this timeof the year....it make me wonder though....why aren't people this giving and thoughtful all year round? Why only for about a month out of the year do people do selfless things? I enjoy ggiving gifts and I admit I really wish there was more I could do to help out those in need...but I can't do that much but I do what I can. I especially enjoy our Christmas dinner. Mostly beause there are alway so many different people there. This year there are going to be 4 possibly 5 new people joining us...Mark's brother and his family are coming this year....I invited them because I don't want to see anyone uunhappy and left out on Christmas. It's not nice to see people lonely. I guess I get that from my mom. Which isn't a bad thing...she's a great person adn I only wish that she could see how great she is sometimes. Everyone is always telling me how great of a person she is.....I already know that.
So I guess for x-mas this year I have some wishes for people.

For my Mom, I wish that she can find the great person inside herself that I know she is nad have a happy year. I wish for her to chase a dream aand make it happen

For my sister I wish that she finds her place in the world. I wish her to forget the past and the pain and move on to a better place. I wish for her to see her beauty the way others see it. I wish for her to be able to find self love and someone who loves her uncoditionally.
For my friends I wish them happiness health and good days in the next year. I wish them strength to make it through the hard times and love in all the good times.

For anyone else who reads this I hope for you all the best in the new year and all the years to come. Follow all your dreams and even if you think they are impossible at least have the courage to dream. Don't be afraid to reach for the moon, if you miss you'll land on a star!